The Forgotten Superheroes

The Forgotten Superheroes

• 2.3.09

by SHELL SHERREE

This morning, I saw a Warholian piece of street art depicting President Obama as Superman.

Judging by the pallor of quiet desperation on night show comedians still unable to crack a joke or joke about crack at his expense, this sentiment continues to hold true.

I have to wonder, though, if there are other policitians - past and present - moonlighting as superheroes, perhaps more modestly than Mr President. {Damn you, Superman ... always the show pony.}

After months of investigations under the cloak of darkness {rum fumes and a spy camera in the shape of a Thanksgiving turkey}, I can reveal to you my still unconfirmed suspicions. {Note to self: reallocate next budget surplus from rum to spy cams.}

• George W. Bush: Battyman
• Al Gore: Green CFC-Reduced Lantern
• Bill Clinton: Flash-Your-Gordon
• Hillary Clinton: Like-Hellboy
• Bill Clinton if Hillary had become President: Iron-ing Man
• John McCain: Spidervein-Man
  
• Sarah Palin: The Inedible Elk

But if you're lying awake at night worrying about whether they are up to the job, never fear. What's that? Up in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It's Superman, travelling in the comfort of Air Force One.